Gratitude

'Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city'

-George Burns

When I was young, my dad worked overseas. Though it's not exactly somewhere far, nor was it actually over any seas. My whole family used to go over every holiday and I don't think I've actually spent many holidays in KK during my childhood. It was really fun, to have another house somewhere not home, to live somewhere else like a permanent vacation. My dad worked in a mall that to me back then, had pretty much everything, and I actually don't know what his actual job was. It just involved a lot of travelling, which meant souvenirs. There were a lot of stuff, and I like stuff. 

So, when I was about 9 or 10 I started asking for my dad to buy me stuff. Being a child with no common sense, I never understood the concept of money, it was literally like paper to me, magical paper which I could trade for awesome things. I just thought that if I had a dollar, and that Kinder Bueno costed 1.50, just ask for money from my parents, they have infinite supply. And yes, that actually happened, I bought Kinder Bueno once a week. But that's not the point here. Every time I went to the mall where my dad worked, there was always some new toy I wanted, mostly Barbie dolls, or anything my cousin had which I did not. Just realised how zhu mak I am back then, did not really use my brain very much. And every time before my dad leaves for any business trips, it was a habit for me to make a list, a very detailed and long list, of the stuff I wanted him to buy, because I thought China was a magical land where there's this large factory which sells exactly what I wanted conveniently all placed on one shelf. But I have been to China once, and that is a lie. Childhood ruined. During the period right before school opens, everyone goes shopping which was conveniently termed the back-to-school sale, which actually was just an excuse for people to buy stuff. Well at least for me. I had a tendency to walk through the mall with a basket and just shove stuff into it, and then leave it at the counter so my dad could pay for it. Yes, I know I am the worst, judge me all you want. My dad always got me what I wanted, paid for my every whim, even when I asked him to get me this ridiculous dollhouse for Barbie dolls. In a way, you could say, I had it all, I had the best childhood any kid could ever ask for. 

Now I realise that it had never occurred to me how hard it was to earn money, until I had to do it myself. And really, it is one of the hardest things ever although it is what you'll probably be doing for the rest of your lives. So tiring that I was muttering 'I hate my job' under my breath while smiling at customers. Don't ask. Haha. I have finally understood, though just a fraction because my experience would never come close to his, how hard it is to earn money to support a family. And all these years, I have never ever heard him say once that he hates his job. He has always given me everything I wanted, and I mean that literally, because every time I wanted to buy something he would always buy it for me, no matter what, even if he had to scrape the money off the bottom of a coin jar. I am very grateful for having such a selfless father who has always put his family first, because while I'm out here shopping for more clothes, his work shoes have holes in them and he wouldn't buy new ones. I complain a lot and I always complain about not having enough money, thinking like I have this printer at home which could print money. But gradually, I've stopped realizing how much I already have, and just being here, being in uni, living the dream of so many Malaysians, and that I owe this to my dad who has always pushed me to study hard. Dads are always silently working behind the family, and mine is no exception, and even more than that.

One day isn't enough to thank him. But still,

Happy Father's Day